Take Time to Smell the Roses

Sadly, burn out for women only results in fatigue, resentment, having to deal with cranky children (and sometimes partners), and a partner who may become distant because of your moodiness and so won’t be eager to have snuggle times on the couch once the children are in bed. Colleagues become annoying. Work in general becomes tiresome. And you become more frustrated, judgemental and annoyed.

So you need to take some time for yourself, and if you have a partner, some quality time with your partner. That’s right, some time alone, quiet time, personal time, some together without the children time, some time to recharge … some ‘Me Time!’ as well as 'Us-Time.'

Personal ‘Me Time’ would ideally be a daily occurrence. Every day would be fantastic, and I realise that that may not always be possible at the start. So aim for a couple of times a week to begin with. As I have already stated, fifteen minutes a day will make a huge difference! Actually get into the HABIT of scheduling this time out in your diary, on your calendar, in your phone – whatever works for you. Have a plan of what you are going to do. Whatever you choose to do, make it all about you… and make it a habit. This is the time to RESTORE your sanity, to re-energise, to chill out and relax.

Incorporate regular DATE NIGHTS with your partner- ideally weekly or fortnightly. If you are unable to manage that yet, then aim for the monthly date. Enlist the help of family or friends to babysit and go out or have a night away. Go on a picnic, send the children to Grannies and turn your bathroom into a spa with candles, soft music and beautiful champagne. Go for a walk whilst holding hands. Sit in a coffee shop or at a beautiful location and share your dreams for the future. Go for a couples massage. The options are truly endless. You will reignite your friendship and your love life!

If you are a single parent, the same goes for you. As a single parent you are responsible for all aspects of family life, so your challenges can be even bigger. To be able to sustain the energy for this and continue to do it well, you need to create your own special ‘Me Time’, where you can recharge and GET BACK IN TOUCH WITH WHO YOU REALLY ARE. Do something different, you will benefit and your children will benefit from having a happy calm mumma.

The simple act of breathing and grounding will help you reconnect, be calm and help you be more present to the moment. Developing your awareness of how you are feeling, where in your body you are feeling the emotions, what has triggered those emotions, and what they mean to you goes a long way in being able to bring yourself back to the moment and assess what you need to do next. Beating yourself up for doing or not doing something will not help... I know, it's what I did for too long.

Make this an absolute on your ‘things to do list’. Start out small and gradually increase so you can have at least half an hour each day to sit, chill and turn the focus 100% on to you. Allow yourself to dream of what you want (daydreaming is very beneficial).